HALF ASS REVIEWS: NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN AND ZODIAC
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2007) In NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN a man with a woman’s hairdo (or a very ugly woman {it’s hard to tell}) chases a guy around Mexico and South Texas trying to get back a suitcase...
View ArticleAMITYVILLE 3D (THE DEMON) (1983) ONE TURD MONSTER IN A WELL
Well, I may have fibbed a little bit – it’s probably not a “turd” monster but it looks like shit and probably stinks. Click the poster above and head on over to Zoe’s site to see our thoughts on what...
View ArticleAMITYVILLE (4): THE EVIL ESCAPES (1989) TERRIBLE (BUT FUN IN THE RIGHT...
It would be a lie to tell you that this movie is good, because it’s not. It’s shit. It’s an awful made-for-American-TV movie that is so PG it’s almost a kid’s film. It’s also got Patty Duke way after...
View ArticleTHE AMITYVILLE CURSE (1989) TERRIBLE
Another happy Friday!!! Today we discuss the terrible Amityville 5 movie – a movie filled with Canadians, corrupt priests and a man you will absolutely hate within five seconds of seeing him onscreen!...
View ArticleAMITYVILLE 1992: IT’S ABOUT TIME (1992) THREE UNDRESSED CHICKS ON MODEL TRAIN...
It’s Friday! Let’s do this shit!! Click the poster above to see just what the fuck is going on on that train set!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! #hauntedorgasm Hey!! Look for a special second post from me...
View ArticleAMITYVILLE: A NEW GENERATION (1993) TWO POSSESSED MIRRORS
HAPPY FRIDAY!!! Happy May!! It’s Amityville 7 time…. Do we yell “Mayday” and give up on the ship??? Do we press on and finish up this shit franchise??? Does the woman in the grainy still below get her...
View ArticleAMITYVILLE: DOLLHOUSE (1996)
Ever read a movie review by someone who hasn’t seen the movie?? Ever wanted to see Eric Foreman’s sisters tits???? If so – click the poster above to rock out with your balls out!!!
View ArticleTHE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005) FOUR MELISSA GEORGES
*NSFW NSFW* WOOO HOOOOO!!! It’s Friday and we get to look at something GOOD for a change!! Join us as we take a very serious and detailed look at the 2005 remake with Ryan Reynolds and Melissa George....
View ArticleTHE AMITYVILLE HAUNTING (2011) A REAL PILE OF SHIT
Want to read about one of the worst movies ever made in the history of mankind? Click above!!! FUCK THIS MOVIE AND FUCK THIS KID!
View ArticleTHE AMITYVILLE ASYLUM (2013) BULLSHIT
This is it!!!! The end of the line!!!!! Today our project ends and we move on to other things! Is it bittersweet??? Do we shed tears of joy or sadness? Do we embrace each other in fond farewell or...
View ArticleTHE AMITYVILLE PLAYHOUSE (2015) A REAL PIECE OF SHIT
I don’t get as many people coming by here as I used to – but – for the four of you who still do, you may remember when JB (Zoë) and I tackled entire movie franchises. Due to certain betrothals and...
View ArticleJB AND THE CHOP DO: AMITYVILLE TERROR (2016) A RETURN TO THE ABYSS
Today, young JB and I return to the abyss and bear witness to the atrocity that is a newish movie in the Amityville franchise. Do you remember that time you and your buddy went to that bar and spent...
View ArticleJB AND THE CHOP DO: AMITYVILLE EXORCISM (2017) FOUL AND REPELLENT
SO… I had to look up new synonyms for horrible for this thing… I found things like: dreadful, awful, terrible, shocking, appalling, horrifying, horrific, horrendous, horrid, hideous, grisly, ghastly,...
View ArticleJB AND THE CHOP DO: AMITYVILLE: THE AWAKENING (2017) BETTER THAN A PUNCH IN...
But not by much… click above to head over and see some of this: And a little bit of this: But none of this: And you definitely won’t feel like this:
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